Saturday, November 26, 2016

You don't know Jack (#9)

Jackson is no longer a toddler, so the funny or silly observations have tapered off. But every so often we still get an unprompted nugget of weirdness.

Here are some recent ones:

Jackson visiting North Carolina
Almost every photo of Jackson requires at least two takes: the silly one first, and then the real one.

•     "Fingal kicked me in the willy!" {Pause} "Mom, what's a willy?"

•     "When I was born, I wanted lots of moms. But instead I got a dad."

•     Kate:      "Why are you sad?"
      Jack:       "I lost all my superhero powers."
      Kate:      "Oh."
      Jack:       "I even lost all my pretend powers."
      Jack:       "I can't grow up to be a superhero."

•     "Dad, let me tell you something. I have finally reached my full potential. I am now . . . a ninja."

•    Kate arrives home...
      Jack:      "Namaste, mom!"
      Us:         "Where'd you learn that word?"
      Jack:      "At yogurt."
      Us:         "Do you mean yoga?"
      Jack:      "No! We were practicing yogurt!""
      Us:         "That was yoga, dude."
      Jack:      "No! You guys don't know what you're talking about! It was yogurt! It was, it was!"
      Us:         "You're not being very namaste right now."

•     "I must go with alacrity!"

•     Jack:       "Dad, let me tell you about my poop!"
      Me:         "No thanks, bud."
      Jack:       "The first one was really big and wide . . .  and then it got skinny!"
      Me:         "Why are you telling me this?"
      Jack:       "The second one was just skinny!"

Jackson with cousin Rosalie
The silly ones are contagious.

•    "Sometimes, I can't even understand myself."

•     Jack:       "I changed my mind and I don't think we should get Finley a stuffie."
      Kate:       "Why not?"
      Jack:       "Well, he already has one."
      Kate:       "Is there anything else you can think of for a present?"
      Jack:       "Maybe we could just get him some food."

•     "They spoiled all my plans. I wanted to be the bad guy."

•     Kate:                "Load up the car with the kids."
      Jack:                 "Does that include me?"
      Kate:                 "Yes."
      Jack (age 5):     "But mom, I'm nearly a teenager!"

•    "I'm about to show you something. But it's very dangerous. Please move those things out of the way."

•     Me:         "What is smeared all over the window?"
      Jack:       "Turkey slices."
      Me:         "Why?"
      Jack:       "I was cleaning the window."
      Jack:       "It didn't work."

Jackson and Kate
Eventually, even Kate succumbs to the silly takes.