Diversify your portfolio: invest in whisky

Stocks? Bonds? Real estate? Boring, boring, and boring.

Gold? For the nutjobs.

A restaurant? A Monet or a Van Gogh? How about some rare Bordeaux wine? So passé.

ETFs? Commodities? REITs? For the geeks.

You're not old school. These days, that's for hipsters. You're old old school. You gotta blaze a trail, find the next one, be original. To be worth your time it has to be cutting edge, but classic. Behold:

The Macallan "M" decanter.

Six liters. {Ed.'s note: That's about 1.6 gallons, or 203 ounces.} Single malt. 44.7%. Drawn from The Macallan's select Spanish oak sherry casks, ages ranging from 1940s to the 1990s. The crystal decanter took seventeen craftsmen more than 50 hours to complete. With whisky in it, the decanter weighs 37 pounds. Just four of these Imperiale "M" decanters were bottled. Only two are available for sale.

Not for you any of the 1,750 regular bottles of The Macallan "M." Any schlub could buy those; they went on sale last year for £3,000 pounds (~ $4,940). Nor even James Bond's favorite drink, a Macallan 1962 Fine and Rare Vintage.

The Macallan 1962 in Skyfall.

The villain, Silva, offers a dram of Bond's "favorite" whisky.

You got swagger. Whisky is the future. In the first half of 2013, whisky exports from Scotland rose 11 percent, nearing $3.3 billion. The Macallan brand is investing $164 million in a new distillery and welcome center in the highlands.

Just this past weekend, a Sotheby's auction in Hong Kong sold one of The Macallan's four "M" decanters for £393,109 (~ $647,215). That's up from the 2010 Guinness Book of World Records sale of The Macallan 64-year-old, for $460,000.

The "M" decanter provides 203 shots. At $647,215, that's $3,188 per shot.

But you can't drink it. That would be a waste. You need to save it. Hold onto it for awhile. Give it time to mature as an investment. Let some decades pass. It'll take that long to find the next fool to buy it.

There's one "M" decanter left. Diversify your portfolio.